Abiding with Enduring Faith

How do you respond when God’s answer to your prayer is no or not now? Do you get angry with God and question His love for you? When you cry out, Lord, remove this cup from me, and He doesn’t, are you able to say, not my will, but yours, be done? Abiding with enduring faith means trusting God’s plan, timing and love for us through our pain and grief. 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18

Enduring faith is one of the topics I’ve been writing about in my next Bible study. We live in a broken world cursed by sin. Live long enough and you will face loss, trials, grief, tragedy and even death. No one is exempt from these things. As followers of Christ, we should not only expect pain and suffering, but we should be prepared to trust God through it. 

I have been personally living out this truth in my own life. My family recently made the decision to bring my mom home under hospice care. She had been in and out of the hospital over the last year for different reasons. The hospital stays and health issues caused my mom’s dementia to get progressively worse. Some days she barely eats and most days she sleeps more than she is awake. As I walk through this time of uncertainty, I realize my great need for the One who is sovereign over it all. 

Future Glory

My mom was diagnosed with dementia several years ago. For years, that meant she would sometimes say things that didn’t make sense. It also meant she was bluntly honest about everything. Other than that, she was still our mom, who loved her husband of 47 years, four daughters, nine grandchildren, and one great-granddaughter with all her heart. 

For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. Romans 8:20-21

As a Christian, watching your parents grow old really makes you hate sin. Not to sound morbid, but life is literally walking through the valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23:4) because every day we get one step closer to the end of this life. Our failing bodies are a reminder of the curse of sin. We see it when we look in the mirror and feel it when our joints ache. 

It is hard to see your parents, who once cared for your every need, now needing someone to care for their every need. However, it is something we will all have to face if we are blessed enough to have parents who grow old. This world is temporary and sickness and death are a part of it. There comes a time when the world no longer offers any hope, but the good news is that through Jesus Christ there is a future glory that awaits us. 

God’s Plan

Over the last year my mom’s dementia made her increasingly unsettled and irritable. Oftentimes she didn’t believe she was at home in her own home. At first we dismissed the changes and would try to guide her back to reality. Eventually, her behavior became more concerning. Then came the frequent hospital visits. There were three in seven months, all for infections. 

After her last trip to the hospital she was too weak to come home. The hospital recommended moving her to a rehabilitation facility. The problem was that by this time she was refusing food and refusing to open her eyes some days. We ran into issues trying to get her into certain facilities. One issue delayed us by another week, and mom was getting weaker by the day. On her first day in rehab, she was more alert and sitting up in a chair. We were hopeful. However, after a couple days, sitting up in a chair seemed exhausting to her, much less doing any sort of rehabilitation.    

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

We were devastated because we thought she was giving up. We encouraged her that we wanted her home and she needed to do these things to get better. Through prayer and the study of God’s Word, the Holy Spirit convicted me. He showed me that His grace and mercy for my mother is so much greater than mine, and I needed to repent. I began to research dementia and quickly realized that my mom’s disease was making her mentally and/or physically unable to do what was being asked of her. She didn’t give up, this is where God has her.   

God’s Timing

When facing a terminal illness there comes a time when doctors say, we have done all we can do. When dealing with dementia, the doctors say, we have done all we can do medically. This is the natural progression of the disease, but we can’t tell you for sure whether she will get better. This made it terribly hard to make decisions for her care. 

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26

It was painful to watch my mom struggle to sit upright and refuse to eat. All she wanted to do was sleep. We felt helpless with no clear direction on what to do. Everyday I prayed that God would make clear the next steps for my mom. The staff provided care for her the best they could, but I could tell that they knew, but never told us, she wasn’t going to improve. This truly became a moment for me where all I could say was, Lord, not my will, but yours, be done.   

After two weeks in rehab and no progress, insurance was ready for her to leave. We learned on a Friday morning that she would have to leave Saturday or my dad would be paying out of pocket. We knew we wanted her home if she wasn’t going to get better, but we weren’t sure how. My sister reached out to a longtime friend who works for a local hospice company. We thought for sure that nothing would be done before Monday. However, Saturday morning, mom’s hospital bed was delivered and that afternoon, mom was home, comfortable and happy.   

God’s Love

Everyone I have spoken to who has used hospice says they wish they had called them sooner, and I would say I agree. They have provided excellent care for my mom, and we have had the opportunity to make sweet memories since she’s been home. The days when she is awake and eating, I think, Lord, I don’t want my mom to spend another day in this hospital bed, especially when I know what awaits her with You. Then on the days when she sleeps a lot and refuses food, I think, Lord, I’m not ready to say goodbye just yet.   

For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Romans 8:24-25

I’m so thankful for the community God has placed in our lives. They have surrounded and cared for my dad. They have visited my mom and prayed for her. They’ve made dinners, sent gift cards, and provided rides for my daughter so I could be with my mom. All of these things show God’s love for us during this time (1 John 4:11-12). 

My flesh wants me to put on a brave face, pretend that I’m not hurting, and think that I’m alone in my pain. My Savior wants me to grieve, seek Him for comfort, and surround myself with the people He has placed in my life. Abiding with enduring faith requires seeking Him through prayer, His Word, and community because only then will you be able to trust His plan, His timing and His love.  

If you are dealing with something heartbreaking and heavy, know that you are not alone (Psalm 34:18). I would love to hear your story and pray for you. Email me through my Contact Page.