Have you ever been hurt by someone in the church? Are you part of a church that is divided over doctrine differences? Have you lost trust in a pastor whose teaching was not Biblical or actions were sinful? Follow Christ long enough and you will. Abiding after church hurt can be difficult. However, God calls us to continue to abide in Christ and His Word even after we experience what some might call church hurt.
I greatly dislike the term church hurt because I believe that so many people have misused it over the years. Many have gone so far as to claim that they have experienced church hurt at the hands of pastors who preach the truth of Scripture and called out their sin. However, I want to talk about real church hurt that occurs when sin causes pain inside the church. It is the reason why many refuse to be a part of the local body of Christ.
In my lifetime, I have experienced my own church hurt and have learned that there is a right way and a wrong way to respond. Contrary to popular belief, churches are not filled with perfect people. They are filled with sinners like the rest of the world. The difference, hopefully, is that those in the church realize they are a sinner in need of a Savior, and they are seeking God’s will in their lives. However, sin still creeps in, feelings still get hurt, and division still happens. We should expect it, prepare for it, and respond in a way that honors God.
Trust God’s Sovereignty
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:2-3
Christians are the only people who can truly find joy in the middle of trials. If there is a struggle within our church, we should find comfort in knowing that God is allowing it to happen. We can trust that whatever it is, it is for our good and His glory. As followers of Christ, we should not expect a life without trials or a church without trials. We live in a broken world that rejects us and the message we proclaim, we are sinners in need of a Savior. Satan seeks to make us ineffective for the Gospel. In addition to that, God is using what others mean for evil, for our good.
My daughter will often jokingly say when she is doing something she doesn’t want to, for example chores or schoolwork, “It builds character.” Sometimes God allows hurt in our lives because He wants us to be obedient even when it hurts. He wants us to take up our cross and follow Him (Matthew 16:24). Not because it always feels great in the moment, but because we know it is what’s best. Through our hurt He is building in us Christ’s character, and we should find joy in this truth.
Surrender to God’s Will
And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:4
I’ve mentioned before that when I was a child my family left the church after our pastor, whom we loved, was asked to leave. We were hurt by the actions of our church. Though we spent a short time looking, we eventually made the decision to no longer attend any church. I spent the next 20 years not following Christ. There are many who have a similar story, but I can truly say that I was not surrendering to God’s will by not going to church.
I think it’s a human reaction to want to protect yourself when you have been hurt. However, I believe God wants us to fight those feelings of self protection. After all, it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me (Galatians 2:20). We now live for Christ, which means we desire what He desires. Refusing to build the local church is disobedient to God’s commands. The church is there for our protection and personal growth. It is also God’s plan to bring unbelievers to the saving knowledge of Christ (Ephesians 3:10). People are going to hurt us, but God is always with us. That’s why our faith can never be in people or any particular church. It must only be in God, which should cause us to submit to His plan.
Seek God’s Instruction
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. James 1:5-6
Sin is a terrible thing that destroys families, friendships and even churches and ministries when we let it. We should grieve over it and its effects, but it is important that we not react according to our emotions. I believe there are times when God calls us to leave a church, especially when that church refuses to proclaim the entire truth of God’s Word. There are other times when God calls us to stay put, especially when only our feelings have been compromised and not the Word of God. This is where discernment from God’s Word is necessary. However, I don’t believe that God ever calls us to leave the local body of Christ. If God calls you to leave a church, it’s because He wants you at another church.
In all situations we should seek God’s instruction through prayer and the study of His Word. I can truly say since becoming a follower of Christ, when I am faced with hard decisions, God makes the answer clear to me. However, I’m not saying I always like His answer. We need to be honest with ourselves before reacting to church hurt. Have I truly sought God’s instruction? Has God been clear on how I should react? If yes to both, am I being obedient to what God is calling me to do? This is usually where we struggle. When God has been clear, we must not make excuses. We must seek God’s instruction, trust that He will give it to us, and then submit to His instruction.
To Those Who Love Him
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12
If you are someone who has recently experienced church hurt or you are still grieving from it, don’t run from God. Instead, run to Him. Get in His Word, build the local church, and enter into discipleship communities because you live by the Spirit and not by the flesh. God is greater than your hurt and your pain, and He will never leave you or forsake you.
Maybe you are someone who doesn’t think you need to go to church. Maybe you left because of hurt that occurred inside the church. I encourage you to get in God’s Word and pray that He would show you His will for your life, and give you the strength to surrender to His will.
I would love to hear your story. You can send me an email through my Contact Page. Be sure to check out my Resources Page for prayer and Bible study resources.