Are you only building relationships with women who are in the same season of life as you? Do you share the same interests and personality traits with all of your friends? Titus 2 living requires us to be more inclusive and not selective about who we build relationships with.
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:3-5
Out of comfort, we are tempted to only seek relationships with those we have the most in common with. The Gospel calls us to make disciples, which require us to step outside of our comfort zone. We must invest in the lives of whomever God places in our path. And yet I see so many young mothers only seeking discipleship with other young mothers. I know retired empty nesters who feel like they have nothing to offer younger believers.
A Worldly View
About five years ago I attended a workshop at a women’s ministry conference (I won’t say which one). The workshop was called something like, “What younger women need from older women.” I was really excited about this one because I have benefitted greatly from older women investing in me through discipleship. I like to think that I am now somewhere in the middle, so I thought this would be helpful.
Unfortunately, I spent the next 45 minutes listening to 18-25 year-old women tell me what they didn’t want to hear from older women. One young woman said she didn’t need advice on raising children because she has access to the internet. I could tell by the Q&A that followed that I wasn’t the only one in the room discouraged by this workshop.
The message from these young women felt more worldly than Biblical. I began to question how well the older women in these churches were discipling these younger women. As an older woman, I left with no desire to disciple younger women out of fear of saying the wrong thing. And if I didn’t know better, as a younger woman, I would have left thinking older women had nothing to offer me. And yet this is the same message I hear from so many women that I would otherwise consider mature in their faith.
A Biblical View
I’ve mentioned before that God has brought many women into my life who have poured into me through discipleship. Many of these women are considerably older than me. Some of these women are younger, but have been believers longer than me. All have sought to live Titus 2.
I have a good friend who is more than 20 years older to me, and yet she is one of my closest friends. If you asked me what we have in common, I would tell you a couple things, but mostly Jesus. Her love for God’s Word makes her a great resource for godly wisdom, and I have matured greatly from my friendship with her.
When something bad happens, she’s the first person I call. If something good happens, she’s the first person I want to share it with. She’s who I go to when I need advice and when I’m struggling with sin. She does not have any children of her own, though she would have liked to. However, for years she has very much been a motherly figure to me.
I’m not the only one who looks to her for godly wisdom. She values every woman she comes in contact with and is concerned with the state of their faith. For that reason she spends many hours each week in discipleship with women younger than me as well as women older than her. She sees the potential in every relationship. She doesn’t pretend to know it all. Instead, she models a desperate need in her own life for Christ and for His Word.
Our Motivation
Titus is a letter written by Paul to a young Crete pastor informing him and the other leaders of the church how to effectively evangelize. According to Paul, led by the Holy Spirit, successful evangelism happens when the people of Christ’s church pursue holiness and stay grounded in sound doctrine. In order to do these things we need to be discipled and we need to be discipling others.
Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me. Colossians 1:28-29
As followers of Christ, we should strive to always be growing in our maturity in Christ and to help others grow more mature in Christ. That requires building relationships with women who are in different seasons of life and different maturity levels.
Younger women, be open to older and/or more mature women discipling you. Older women, be open to discipling younger women and/or being discipled by more mature younger women. Never turn down the opportunity to grow in your knowledge of God and grow as a disciple of Jesus Christ. We live Titus 2 when we prioritize Him and His mission when building relationships.
Do you have a Titus 2 woman in your life? I would love to hear your story. Send me an email through my Contact Page.